Eight unnecessary movie sequels coming our way
THOSE who were holding their breath waiting for Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 can finally exhale.
This week the sequel was announced, thanks to a generous tax subsidy from the state of Nevada, where filming will take place.
Here are some other upcoming sequels that sound completely unnecessary.
The Expendables 3:
The first one was pretty disposable, as was the second one. But OK, OK, it might be fun to see Mel Gibson playing the bad guy. As an actor, though, how will he ever find deep reserves of nastiness to draw upon?
A Haunted House 2:
The first one, Marlon Wayans’ rip-off of his own Scary Movie franchise, didn’t light up the world last year with a $40 million gross (Scary Movie grossed $157 million back in 2000, but Scary Movie 5 bombed last year). So it would be hard to call this a quick grab for money. What money?
The Purge: Anarchy:
Remember last year’s Ethan Hawke horror flick The Purge, about a future America where murder is legal one night a year? Yeah, neither does anyone else. He’s not in this one.
Step Up: All In:
Step Up, we owe you for introducing most of us to Channing Tatum. But this kids-gotta-dance franchise needs to take a seat. It’s not like the fourth one left us begging for more.
Dolphin Tale 2:
Are you excited about “Dolphin Tale 2”? Us either. Source: Supplied
Morgan Freeman, Ashley Judd and Harry Connick Jr. return in another gosh-darn nice movie about saving lovely sea creatures. Suggested twist: This time the dolphin meets StarKist and everybody has it for lunch.
Paranormal Activity 5:
This found-footage horror setup is getting pretty stale. The kids who made Blair Witchare now driving mini-vans and looking forward to their next trip to Costco.
Night at the Museum 3:
Ben Stiller is back in a museum ... again. Source: Supplied
Ben Stiller is back, and so is Robin Williams as Teddy Roosevelt. The new big name is Downton Abbey star Dan Stevens, as Sir Lancelot. Hey, Dan, for kiddie comedies like this you killed off Matthew Crawley?
The Smurfs 3:
La la la la la la, la la la la la. The Smurfs are back. Source: Supplied
The most annoying kid characters this side of Barney just can’t stop smurfing around. Somebody sue the producers for child abuse.
Pitch Perfect 2:
Rebel Wilson will reprise her role as Fat Amy. Source: News Limited
Just kidding. This one’s necessary. The first one was a-ca-mazing. In fact, we can’t wait another year, so put a rush on this one.
This article originally appeared in The New York Post.
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